Doing Stuff Anyway: Flash to the Past- Applying to a Summer Program

 So I know usually my posts are set up a different way for this segment, but I'm switching it up a bit this time for the story. It's sort of a soft launch into my review for each day at my summer program. I'll be giving yall a story of how my day went during it, hopefully I'll keep up with it lol. 

As yall know, tomorrow, actually, I'll be attending a week-long college program thing. However, I never told y'all how I even got here. 

So back in March, I went to an HBCU college fair, and I saw lots of different HBCUs and different opportunities that are available as far as college. One of the opportunities was the week-long college program. I took a picture of the QR code to the application, and reviewed it many times after the fair.

Initially, I felt like I wouldn't be able to go. I told my mom about it, and she was a bit concerned because we had our trip already planned and she just needed more information about it. My mom is very complicated, LOL, but I love her all the same. So I told her everything about it; she seemed okay with it, but now it was time for my part. 

The application required a personal statement. I thought about the prompt for days, and I couldn't come up with anything. It asked about my goals and how participating in the program could help me. I couldn't come up with anything, or if I did, I didn't know how to word it. I feel like I spend so much time with myself and in my head, yet when it really comes down to it, there's still so much I need to learn about myself. I told my mom that I give up, I told her she didn't need to worry about it anymore, and that I just wasn't going to apply. I figured if I couldn't even think about my short and long-term goals and come up with a simple personal statement, then how am I going to do college applications? Even if I get through that, how will I survive in college where I have to write pages of essays?. Don't get me wrong, I love writing (obviously LOL), and I write amazing essays. However, in that moment, everything just seemed small in comparison to my future. Anyone can write a good essay and have a huge passion for writing, but it isn't a guarantee of acceptance into college. I felt really down after that. I tend to let small things make me feel such big feelings, like an educated toddler. I know that it's small and that I take things too far and overthink them, but knowing all that doesn't stop the feelings from happening. There's a song I like called In Between " by Kelsea Ballerini, I think it perfectly sums up me tbh.  Anyway, that was the origin of this story; clearly, that isn't how it ended. 

I was sitting in the car with my mom while we waited for my sister, and I just started thinking. I was thinking about the prompt. This time, I didn't think about the entire prompt; I broke it up into sections. Like, what are my short-term goals? Well, I want to go to College. Okay, now what are my long- term goals? I want to get into a career that I really enjoy, and I want to live comfortably financially. Okay, lastly, how can the program help me achieve these things? It'll give me the tools and support that I need. It was perfect. Now, of course, my answer was more lengthy LOL, but that's just an overview of how it looked. It was so crazy because just a couple of days or weeks before that, I was stressed and giving up, just for the solution to come to me randomly. 

So I finished my personal statement, and I had my English teacher look over it to check for grammar and if I answered the question fully. Then, I got my letter of recommendation. For my letter of recommendation, I made a "brag" sheet, which was actually really fun. I used a template and answered all the questions, and it was nice to kind of look back and think of everything I've done and sort of do a deep dive on myself and what I believe to be positive attributes of myself. So that was really great! 

So after all that lol, I sent in the application, and a couple of weeks later, I got an email saying I was accepted into the program!! I was so surprised, happy, and excited. 

If I had let my mini crises get to me and actually not apply to the program, I would have never seen how much I could accomplish. It reminds me of a post on TikTok that I saw at the beginning of the year, where a girl was chasing rejection. She was applying to different things and just doing things to see how many "No's" she would get. Surprisingly, she got a lot of "Yes's". So I want to be more like that. That's what my blog is about anyway. Just doing stuff, no matter the outcome. 

I feel like every day, more and more I find myself quoting my blog name and theme. It's just so relevant to this stage of my life, where I'm growing into an adult and making my own choices and learning myself. I don't want to ever miss an opportunity like I almost missed this time. 

What I learned: It's simple, really. Just do stuff anyway. Through my doubt, stress, and "give up-y" feelings, I should just do it anyway. because who knows what could happen? And this time, the best scenario happened. 

REALITY CHECK:

Effort: 10/10

Worth it?: Hmm, I guess we'll have to measure that after this week LOL